wifipasswords:

Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”

inspiring:

mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor

boopanaro:

let me tell you, i am becoming very fluent in french. i know how to pronounce like six names from les miserables

“I’m an adult” I whisper as I try not panic while I’m filling in all those forms that I don’t understand.

roughrimjob:

I burned like 3/4 of my forearm on the oven while I was making chicken and my mom was like “honey put some butter on it it draws the heat out” so she was rubbing a stick of butter on my arm and my stepdad was like “what’s for dinner” as he walked in and saw her slathering my arm in butter and he just slowly backed away